Wow!! What an amazing time I had in 2009 in the land formerly known as Ceylon! The mystery of ancient cities, the kindness of quite a few strangers, and the peace and serenity of secluded-cove beaches all inspired me to write wordy accolades to this lovely country.
There was such a diversity of experiences there that I will not have the time to describe them all now. But one memory will stand out forever as being the most entertaining of them all! You see, one night I witnessed a sex show while dining over a curry meal at a beachside cabana on the south coast. Yes, that is right. Free sex shows are included in the meal at this resort!! This can’t be beat! Awesome! Come one, come all, come see the show!
Now, a trifle earlier, as I sat and read my Lonely Planet Travel Writing How-to-Guide, I noticed that a small gecko had come crawling up on to the table to hunt for appetizing insects that might be checking out my food. Due to the soft overhead lighting in the cabana, there weren’t many bugs to be found, so she (yes, I know she was a she) pretty much sat idle next to my bowl of chicken curry waiting in vain for some ‘action’. Twice, I reached over and tapped my pen next to her, so she quickly darted off and went under the table, but moments later, she reappeared and positioned herself right next to my curry again.
A few moments after the last time she reappeared, while my focus was on my reading, I heard a minute screech of some sort. Having thought that she had attacked a bug, I didn’t bother looking up. Who the heck wants to see a gecko dining on a fly or a moth right next to one’s dinner? To see any action of any sort from a gecko on my table is not what I had wanted.
However, after another small screech of sorts, I decided to glance over. Lo and behold, another gecko had bear-hugged her partly from the side and partly on top, and then with a quick side movement of her tail, he mounted her and pumped away as rapidly as a Morse-Code typist sending an SOS. Can you believe it? This was all transpiring right next to my curry! Had they no decency? Alas, I quickly grabbed my camera from where it had hung on the nearby chair and snapped a picture of them. Unfortunately, the lighting was so dark I couldn’t get the image to lock on a focal point, so the photo came out quite blurry; moreover, because their interlude was over in roughly thirty seconds, there was no chance at changing camera settings, nor was there time for sketching the scene on my notepad, etc.
Having had enough of this rude indecency, after the male bounded off with a big-toothed grin (as far as I could tell he was grinning), I shooed her away again with my pen (she was a bit lethargic and winded it seemed) and then moved the curry bowl over a tad just to cover the spot where they had shared a romantic moment together. In the end, even though I was alone, I had enjoyed a great curry meal and the unexpected entertainment.
If you ever come to Sri Lanka, don’t fret about how you’ll spend a potentially boring evening at a cabana restaurant when you are the only one dining (tourism was really low there because of all the unrest) because you’ll quite possibly have free sex shows with your curry!